After speaking to a close male friend of mine, he repeatedly asked me why he kept having “crazy” ex girlfriends. Girls that would repeatedly talk to him post breakup, or would lose their sanity towards the end. As I started to listen to his ghastly tales of their craziness, I asked him about his own actions. There’s nothing like some Hard Truth from AM to get someone look into their own mirror of denial.
It’s tough to face, but the truth is, most men/women use the term crazy to describe a past relationship in order to portray themselves as the victim rather than admit to being the villain previously. No one wants to “man up” when they’ve fucked up…especially if it’s someone that they hope to get into their pants later on. It’s hard to find fault in their dating behavior because it might lead them to more troubling realizations about how they need to improve as human beings. It’s a lot easier to reassign the guilt, be the good cop, and start on the prowl for the next love of their life, than taking a minute to understand why.
When they do find a new target/potential keeper, the crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is a fictional character that helps reel in this new potential by get your complete allegiance. By claiming that women/men in our past have wronged them, they hope you’ll want to make up for their “terrible and scarring”experiences by showing them how a great catch should be treated — preferably with reassurance and moreso mind-blowing sex.
If your S.O. starts talking about their crazy ex, keep this in mind: Most exes don’t go nuts for no reason, and details tend to be blown out of proportion.
-When he says something like “She called me 20 times in one night,” she really called only three times in a week when he vanished after saying “I love you.”
-When she says he has an “anger problem”, she might have forgotten to tell you she threw a vase at his head
-When he says “he got jealous easily” he forgot to mention he might have cheated on him once or ten times.
Growing up, I was taught to believe half of what you hear and half of what you see. Through exaggerations and biased opinions, the stories always shift; often to the story tellers favor. Focus on how they treat you — whether they are meeting your needs and taking your concerns seriously or shrugs them off. If they are more shrugging than listening, you could end up being the next psycho ex in a long list…which will probably just keep getting longer.