Why Buy the Cow?

A guilty pleasure film of mine came on TV today. The 90s film “Someone Like You” with Ashley Judd is one of those films that although everything goes from bad to awful, yet they still kiss in the rain and fall in love. In the film, Ashley Judd makes up a theory of women being each a “cow”, and that when men get tired of their old “cow” they simply move on to a new Blue Ribbon cow. She pretends to be a professor, in order for people to actually give her credibility with the thought. The movie proceeds to show how this idea launches hysteria in women, as it triggers our basic insecurities of abandonment and harsh reality of yes, sometimes they’ll leave you.
Relationships are black and white, whether we like to admit it or not. They either want you or don’t. Simplistic enough. Why we stress and want to focus our energy on wasting it mostly on those that don’t want us is beyond me. Before you start calling me a pot to your kettle, I will be the first to admit that I am completely guilty myself. I love the chase. I have a specific type, which my friends bust on me ALL THE TIME about. I like brown haired, tall, Italians, with a whole lot of confidence, and a whole lot of heartbreak. Has it worked for me so far? Sure…for a short time. There’s a reason I’m still single and have an emergency Ben & Jerry’s carton ready to go in the freezer. Judge me.
I say, we cows need to stick together. We need to take care of ourselves for ourselves, not because the latest issue of Cosmo Mag says that’s what our Significant Other wants. We need to become the inner and outer blue ribbon cow. Let’s face it ladies and gents, we want our SO to buy into our confidence. You always hear from your “Taken Friend”, that as soon as they “stopped looking, that’s when they found true love”.  As soon as I hear that crock of BS, I’m thinking of my emergency stash of Ben & Jerry’s, roll my eyes and refrain from saying “Bite me”.  However, when the inner cynic dies down, you start to realize that when you loved yourself you found love.

Come on, You Know You’ve Done This

Huh, well didn’t the truth just bite you and me both in the back side.

Whether a front or not, self care goes hand and hand with self worth. Who wants to invest in a wallowing shell of self depricating mess that answers always to the 4am booty call and doesn’t let you chase them? Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? Why buy the old cow when you can get a blue ribbon?

To put it bluntly, put the spoons down out of the mushy B&Jerry’s, and get your ass to the gym. Take a painting class, or something along the lines of doing activities for yourself. You never know, maybe you’ll meet someone there. If not you’ll have a kick ass toned bod and a bunch of paintings hung up as conversation pieces when your prized cow finally comes over.



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