We all have one “Backburner Buddy”: Someone who we think of as a friend, or companion, but always got the feeling they might want to be something more. Although we wish it could be different, that we could feel something for that person, we know our platonic pen pals will never be our main burning love. Yet, they are the first person we turn to in a moment of weakness. Whether seeking consolation, a midnight snuggle, or a beer, they are there for you.
It’s a tricky balance to keep the dynamic of the Backburner Friend. Once they develop a relationship with someone else, you will stop being a priority. This may be a blow to your ego as you are used to being the #1 Speed dial on their phone. This delicate situation can leave you feeling more than you planned or expected, or can brush it off without a worry.
When you are the Backburner Buddy, it’s never a fun situation. You’re the type that leaves the cell on loud when you go to bed, and fall asleep with the phone in your hand. You know their specific coffee order, and check in on them to see if their day is going okay. By going that extra mile in your friendship, you hope that one day they will wake up and realize you are the one for them. Unfortunately, it rarely happens. Minus the thousands of Itunes Free Romance books that keep a hopeless romantic’s mindset pursuaded, the Backburner Buddy rarely becomes “the one”. If they do, that is the exception to the rule, not the rule itself?
Okay here’s to put it simple. There’s a fine line between friendship and being someone’s assistant. As is there between you friend zoning someone, and stringing them along. Honesty is the best policy. You have to be honest with yourself and with your friend before you can establish guidelines. Once you do, those guidelines will be set in stone, and it will be hard to change them.
Tread lightly friends.