That damn awkward grey area is THE WORST. You all know what I’m talking about. The grey area is between the “change your Facebook relationship status” of definition and lies smack in the middle of “should you go on another OK Cupid date”. Dating, especially in today’s social media filled world, is hard.
The grey area is that unbalanced frame of time where you go through an array of emotions. One day, you love how things are, and enjoy spending time with that special potential. The next day you’re angry and annoyed because you don’t understand why they won’t have the DTR (defining the relationship) conversation with you. You don’t know where you stand with your signficant other, and it’s making you crazy. You want to have the conversation to DTR, but are scared that if it’s not reciprocated you would lose that one. And hey, it’s better to be waiting around and have the security blanket of a grey area, than it is to end it and wait for someone who is truly transparent, truly wants you, and will make sure you don’t have any doubt in your mind about a status, right?
WRONG. Sometimes you need to move on. Sometimes we make things up in our mind, in order to give ourselves a little comfort, instead of seeing the writing on the wall. The truth is an ugly pill to swallow, but acknowledging the truth will be the turning point in letting you find what you truly deserve.
I wish at times we could go back to being the 5th grade confident/innocent self. When I was at the ripe “old age” of 11, I knew that if a boy spent time with you, he liked you. I knew once I got the super secret, carefully passed note with the “do you like me? Check yes/no message”, my fate was sealed. I either wanted to sit with him and eat lunch, or didn’t. If I shared my Fruit Rollup, then I might as well have called my mother and told her I was engaged, because sharing your Fruit Rollup was a big deal.
Today, we don’t have the simplistic luxury of knowing if someone feels the same way by a crumpled up ripped piece of notebook spiral paper. Sure, they can be completely adorable and sent that via Instagram or Text Message. However, an adult’s circumstances are what proves to be the final glue, not a ball point pen’s check mark. The grey area is a time of unease, as you don’t know if you’re being reciprocated, or you don’t know what you want. Make sure you can take a step back and analyze the situation fully. Are you in this area because of timing? Is it mental? Or, are you making something bigger than it is?
One of the biggest forefronts of a relationship is honesty. If you don’t feel comfortable having “the talk” with your significant other, then you’re not ready to be in that relationship. You need to be able to express the good and the ugly to them, and know they will be by your side. Use the grey area as a set point in time to distinguish what you want out of it, and if you want to take the step forward.
To get out of that pesky grey area, there are only two ways to:
1.) Start a relationship
2.) Start a relationship with someone else.
If you decide you want to step forward, take that leap.
There is nothing better in the world than taking the leap and knowing the other will be there to catch you. It’s our own personal romance movie. Even if it’s a talk in the McDonald’s Parking lot compared to an angry kiss in the rain, remember that moment. It’s your own, and it’s the moment when things got less grey.