Way To Go Men

lars

 

Today I am proud to be a man as the bidding war on taking the virginity of a sex doll has reached $105,000. That’s right, I repeat the bidding war to take the virginity of a fake woman sex doll has reached $105,000. Now this isn’t just any old sex doll, this is a “real doll” that feels exactly like a real woman, without the bitchy attitude. HEY OH.
​The winner of this auction doesn’t just get to have sex with the doll oh no, that would be ridiculous.

The prize package also includes:

​A night in the presidential suite of a “pay by the hour” motel
​A candlelight dinner with champagne
​An aromatic bath with rose petals
​Special lingerie for the doll
​A digital camera so you can film it

My favorite part about this story is the guys who are bidding don’t realize that they can achieve this night with a real life woman for like max $157. Let me break it down:

​Hooker with her own lingerie – $50 per hour
​Bath – fucking free
​Candles – $2
​Dinner – $50
​Cheap motel 1 hour – $30
​Cheap champagne – $25

The only way this evening could go over $157 if you did it yourself would be if you didn’t already own a digital camera.
​The most a virginity has sold for at auction before was $780,000 and that was for a real actual 20 year old woman. And again guys a bottle of Smirnoff is like 20 bucks, seriously, that’s all cheap vodka costs. So if you’re thinking you made out great at 780 THOUSAND DOLLARS you over paid by about $779,980.
​I personally never understood the fascination with taking a virginity anyway. It’s awkward and she has no idea what’s going on; it’s not fun. But now men are paying 6 figures to take the imaginary v-card of a fucking doll. Now even if it is the doll fetish that is drawing these men in because they have no interest in having sex with real actual women they could go and buy their own “real doll” at realdoll.com for $3,000 (I know because a friend told me about it.) Also, guess what guys, the doll you buy for 3 grand will be a virgin too! Because it comes in a fucking box and the virginity of a doll isn’t a real thing you delusional psychopaths.
​I’m not a dude that gets laid all the time and is just looking down on desperate people either. I’m just a normal human that is having my mind blown by the prospect of spending 6 figures on sex, let alone fake sex. And the digital camera? Really? The kind of lunatic that wants to watch himself fuck an inanimate object should be murdered. I really hope this auction is a trap and anyone who bids anything over $157 gets murdered hard.
​Guys bidding on this fake sex please do yourselves a favor and go jerk off right now. Right this second and clear your heads. “Get the poison out” as the famous phrase goes. You will realize what a disaster you’re involved in.
​God damn you pathetic pieces of shit-just took the male sex back centuries. You guys are truly showing women that they are superior. Have a horrible day degenerates.

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