One Million Reasons to STFU.

Recently, Victoria’s Secret has come under fire from parents for their “Bright Young Things” underwear line. Parents are saying the line of lingerie targets young girls and is trying to sell sex to their children, although VS has clearly stated the line is aimed towards college aged girls. The slogans on the underwear are causing outrage as well saying things such as, “call me,” “dare you,” and “feeling lucky.” Parents, if the hooking up has gotten to the point where the guy can read what’s on your daughter’s underwear…it’s too late. Frankly we don’t care what cute little slogans are on them. Never has a girl taken off her pants in front of me and I said “Call me? Well that seems a little risqué I shan’t have sex with this girl.” Honestly half the time we don’t even see what color the underwear is because we’re so drunk we just rip them off and go to town. Foreplay is for hacks.

This is just another shining example of the PTA mom bullshit mentality. Bored soccer mom housewives blaming industry, music, and TV for their own short comings as parents. If you don’t want your daughter to be a whore teach her some morals, don’t attack a company that’s been selling sexy clothing for decades. If you want your son to respect women teach him to, don’t blame TV for their sexual content.

The worst offenders of this horrible mentality is the activist/hate group One Million Moms. Just look at the photo of the bitch with a broom on their website. One Million Moms is a conservative Christian group that opposes any form of sex, naughty language, porn, anything fun, and hates gays. The opening paragraph of their mission statement is as follows:

“Are you fed up with the filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media, are throwing at our children? Are you tired of all the negative influences our children are forced to contend with? If so, we urge you to become a member of”

The group takes credit for their letters being the reason TV shows such as: 666 Park Avenue, The Playboy Club, and Skins have been cancelled. Yeah, I’m sure it had to do with your letters and not the HORRENDOUS ratings that the shows were receiving because of poor writing.

One Million Moms most recent outrage came in the form of a Geico commercial in which a pig was driving a car with a beautiful woman in the passenger seat. As the commercial progresses the woman flirts with the pig, and One Million Moms said this promoted bestiality and DEMANDED the commercial be pulled. How stupid do these self-involved COWS think we are? A girl on TV flirts with a pig and we are all such impressionable mindless dopes that we are immediately going to go out and start screwing animals? Like every 15 year old is going to be thinking, “well I guess the summer trend for 2013 is pig fucking.” I think the lady who had that thought should have her computer history checked because her mind is obviously warped to immediately jump to bestiality.

Honestly, I’m more concerned that young women will see the way One Million Moms act and they’ll begin to act like ignorant, bigoted, piles of pure dog shit. How has any man married any of these horrible trash bags? Just uptight drones these women are. Maybe if they stopped trolling the internet and TV all day for something to be angry about and threw on some porn and blasted themselves they’d relax and realize there is more to life than anger.

Seriously, can you imagine being married to one of these creatures? You work all day taking shit from your boss and customers then you have to come home and listen to your psycho wife scream about how Elmo seemed a little “faggy” on Sesame Street this morning. Then she begins to read you her stupid letter she’s written to the network trying to get the show cancelled. And at that moment all you want to do is smash your own face into your plate of micro-waved fish fingers because she’s too busy to cook as she was on a conference call with 10 other psychopaths bitching about children’s TV shows. Then all you want to do is just scream in her face, “GET A FUCKING HOBBY YOU HORRIBLE WOMAN.” But all that is just a fantasy to these emaciated men. They don’t even masturbate to porn; they jerk off to the fantasy of telling their wife to shut up.

In no way was that last rant meant to support traditional gender roles and imply that it’s the woman’s job to stay and home and cook while the man works. I’m just speaking specifically about this type of PTA/Conservative/Right Wing mother mentality. These One Million Moms blithering idiots who spend their entire days trolling the internet to find things to get pissed off about. Meanwhile, their daughter is fucking half the football team and their son is selling meth and auto-erotically asphyxiating himself because the thought of ending up like their uptight horrible creature of a mother terrifies them.

Enough with this conservative morality bullshit. The majority of conservative religious morals are bigotry. These fuckers have no right to be running around acting like they speak for the rest of us, like their standards and beliefs are the way we all should think. They keep screaming that we need to, “restore America to the Christian conservative moral example set forth by our Founding Fathers!” Really? You want that? Should we restore our society to the morally courageous Ben Franklin who contracted STDs after having sex with numerous prostitutes and fathering an illegitimate child with a hooker? Or should we follow the example of the moral Thomas Jefferson who used to fuck his slaves and had children out of wedlock with them? How about Alexander Hamilton who carried on an affair with a 23 year old married woman, and paid her husband $1,000 to shut his mouth after he found out? Fucking hypocritical assholes these people are.

But keep it up. Not just One Million Moms, but all you moral soldiers and thought police with your “values.” Keep trying to oppress free love and free speech. You will never win because the majority of us are sexual and boozers and love to have fun. Keep trying to oppress it, because oppression leads to rebellion and the fun ones always win. Oh and leave Victoria’s Secret alone as I feel like I lost the point on that really early in this article.

2 thoughts on “One Million Reasons to STFU.

  1. ” If you want your son to respect women teach him to, don’t blame TV for their sexual content.”

    YES! Everyone is so quick to blame everything else but themselves. Raise your kids right and there wont be a problem.

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