Okay people it’s SUMMER 2013, and you know what that means! Summer fashion trends, and we’re giving them to you here first at New York Social Status. Now I’m not known to many as a “fashionista,” but there is one niche market where I know a thing or two about what’s hot and what’s not. Muslim fashion trends. My last name is Houssein after all.
Let’s start with Muslim men’s casual wear. This hot look is for a nice dinner on the town or just relaxing on your back deck while your wife serves you drinks. First, you’re gonna want to be completely out of shape and not shave your body. Body hair and man tits are huge this year fellas. Next, wear excessive amounts of gold and pull your pants up to cover half your stomach and wear a belt like you really need one. Oh and fellas see those buttons on your shirt? Don’t use them.
From there we have Muslim men’s swimwear. Once again you’re gonna want to not shave your body and be completely out of shape. Women love fat hairy men. Get a pair of ugly sandals and wear them constantly, if it is a chilly day at the beach feel free to wear some socks with those sandals. As for the actual swimsuit find a classic Speedo that fits, then pick one 2 sizes smaller, really accentuate the gut.
For Muslim women this year we have a burqa, with a twist. This year for summer open eye burqas are all the rage. The new eye slot, while risqué will give you a nice cooling vent, to allow some fresh air into your life to go with this fresh new season. Be careful not to get one with a slot too big or else you may have to spend upwards of 30 years in prison.
Who likes clubbing? I know I do. This next party burqa from the “Creepy Flying Things from Harry Potter Collection” is sure to turn heads. You’ll be rocking out with the outline of your nose out, sitting the night away watching your husband dancing and having fun. Ladies you can’t go without this sleek outfit.
Finally, to join your man on the beach we have a burqa for the water. Once you’re done carrying all the beach equipment to the sand (10 paces behind your man of course) you can let loose in this burqa swimwear. Designed to give you the look of a Smurf. Quick caution though gals, your face, hands and feet are exposed in this outfit so some “old school” Muslim men may try to stone you. But just come back with a sassy, “back off grandpa,” and enjoy your day in the sun.
Well that about wraps it up for these summer fashion trends of 2013. Get out there and enjoy! Just make sure you don’t try to sit under the beach umbrella with your man, that would be rude!
EDITOR DISCLAIMER: We at New York Social Status, do not intentionally mean to upset or disrespect any cultures. In fact, we poke and prod at mostly everyone (minus Justin Bieber…he is making a fool of himself). This article is meant to be humorous and should be taken lightly.-AM